I Boycott American products because I’m 3 ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ recessions deep and cannot afford them

Crocodiles? You can try.

OneNote was definitely one of the apps of all time

NEVER! That’s quitter talk!

I think it’s like a cheap Lemmy knockoff

How do we convince sovereign citizens that by claiming, and then burning, all their 10 replacement cards, they get loopholes out of paying federal income taxes?

Hardening against rubber hose cryptography

That’s where I got the idea! I already use veracrypt like this on my laptop when I travel to other countries.

But it would be dope if there was an android that could do this too.

I need an android phone that logs me into one fake version of the operating system when I unlock it with one pattern, and another OS when I use my real pattern.

Like a virtual machine kind of deal where the attacker cannot know that there are other logins, or how many. Preferably with some kind of automated system that simulates normal usage so it looks real but boring.

“Neil, it’s been eighteen years since you got back from the moon, you really need to stop using the bag and finger cot. We don’t even make these anymore except special order for you.”

I fucking learned a whole-ass language for nothing back then because I thought it was the future!, fuck you, XHTML!

“Blacks are wonderful! I owned heaps of them, and they worked for free!”

I had to move a filing cabinet and crawl through a nest of cables under the desk to find the power switch for the computer when the front buttons stopped working. It was a hard reset.

“It’s called meal prep honey, now fetch me the 5 gallon bucket and make some room in the fridge.”

Your mother?

You ever see something on the internet that just makes you Jim-face at an empty corner of the room, as if the ghosts of your ancestors are watching and you need them to know that you are equally shook as they probably are?

Horny mammals

My PC needs a big tiddy lizard girlfriend

Ttiddies?

You joining my cult or nah?