From the extremely entertaining “How to Become a Federal Criminal: An Illustrated Handbook for the Aspiring Offender” by Mike Chase.
We begin with the bread, the foundation of any ham and cheese sandwich. Bakery products fall squarely in FDA jurisdiction.
One regulation promulgated by the FDA, Title 21, Section 136.110, of the Code of Federal Regulations, is appropriately entitled “Bread, rolls and buns.” It sets the requirements for the most basic of bread products. For example, if the sandwich is going to be served on “egg bread,” the FDA is of the view that the bread had better contain at least 2.56 percent egg solids by weight. There are also other more nuanced bread regulations, like how raisin-y “raisin bread” must be (at least 50 parts by weight for each 100 parts by weight of flour), and that “milk buns” can’t contain any buttermilk.
Then comes the ham. Without it, we’re just going to end up with a cold cheese sandwich on our hands, and that would be sad. But this is also where the USDA enters the picture.
Ham is a meat product subject to regulation by the USDA under Title 9 of the C.F.R. Before it leaves the slaughterhouse, the ham has to be inspected by the USDA and approved for human consumption.
Next, it’s time to add the cheese to our crime sandwich. There are dozens of regulations governing the cheese itself. But whether the cheese is compliant with the federal regulations or not is only part of our concern. One slice of bread, some ham, and a piece of cheese technically make an open-face ham-and-cheese sandwich. Pursuant to the FDA’s Investigations Operations Manual, open-face sandwiches are in the investigative jurisdiction of the USDA. Once the meat-to-bread ratio hits 50:50 on a single slice of bread, the USDA calls the shots. Add a second slice of bread, however, and you now have a closed-face sandwich, and you’re back in FDA jurisdiction.
TLDR: Whatever the top layer is, that’s who regulates it. Throw some coaxel cable on top and the FCC would regulate it. Throw some internet on top, and the FCC would try their hardest to NOT regulate it.
If the USDA comes to regulate your open faced sandwich, just turn it upside down and they will no longer have any authority.
Seems like what it’s saying is the ratio is what matters. Who has the most regulatory jurisdiction? They’re the ones calling the shots.
From Obama’s 2011 SotU Address: “The Interior Department is in charge of salmon while they’re in fresh water, but the Commerce Department handles them in when they’re in saltwater. And I hear it gets even more complicated once they’re smoked.”
Every regulation is written in blood.
Really makes you think… about just how fucked up salmon production is.
Safety regulations are written in blood. But that doesn’t mean there have to be multiple agencies constantly fighting turf wars over who gets to regulate what.
A lot of labor laws are also written in blood.
So when the FDA shows up at your illegal sandwich shop be ready to pull a slice a bread from each sandwich and they will have no jurisdiction. Then you can say, “excuse me FDA’icer you have no jurisdiction here!”
Gotta think ahead.
Gotta think abread
And aham and acheese.
(By the way, who is in charge if there are condiments?)
US Army, unders the command of Colonel Mustard
Along the same lines, because alcohol is regulated by the ATF and nutrition labels are a requirement from the FDA, alcoholic beverages don’t need to include nutritional information. As somebody who restricts their diet of certain ingredients, I find the lack of listed allergens or ingredients annoying.
Particularly I want seltzer to list the sugar source of their alcohol on the product. There is way too much garbage in the market.
As someone with allergies, it is fucking infuriating. I go by web searches and whether a drink is physically painful nearly immediately.
However, it is against federal law for alcohol sellers to suggest their product is intoxicating.
We’re heading backwards in regulations and we might as well apply tactics from a hundred years ago … don’t be the first in line to try a new eatery, let everyone test it first and wait a month to see what happens.
National Institute of Standards and Technology probably. Seriously, you can get NIST peanut butter. It’s stupidly expensive, but it is the industry standard of what peanut butter should be. I’m sure they have a definition for a ham sandwich.
It’s stupidly expensive
I’d wager they don’t replace the peanut oil with cheap
toxic wasteseed oils like everyone elseIt’s hundreds or thousands of dollars for a small jar.
The point of NIST foodstuffs is to test industrial equipment / cleaning chemicals / etc. against a standard, not to eat. IIRC Tom Scott has a video about’m.
NIST peanut butter is the (analytical) standard, all tests are done with that stuff as a reference (or part of reference). That’s why it’s so expensive, it has to be very consistent
oh, right, that stuff. heard about it before and it’s nuts.
Some of it is, especially the peanut butter.
well ackchyually … legumes
I think Nile red/blue has a video about baking cookies from component parts from them, iirc
He does, and the commenters had many varied opinions about it: https://youtu.be/crjxpZHv7Hk
Veritasium also has a video on standards: https://youtu.be/esQyYGezS7c
Tom Scott also has a video about it, but a quick search returns several possible results and (despite his probably being the best) I don’t remember enough about it to determine which is the correct one nor enough time to watch and determine.
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The bread, ham, and cheese are all separately regulated.
The nuance between open faced sandwich vs closed sandwich comes down to a final product, So think producing prepackaged food for sale as a federally regulated facility, more than making a sandwich in your kitchen.
And at any rate on any functional level it will be your local health jurisdiction that’s really going to get involved if a regulator ever had to.
One that didn’t discover pulled pork, obviously
Department of Gastric Enclosures?
