Hi everyone!
I think this needs a bit of backstory before I get into the actual problem. There will be a TL;DR at the end.
I am in my 30s and for some time now, after an encounter with an acquaintance from abroad who had been diagnosed with ADHD, I have been suspecting I might have it too. All the struggles and hardships he faced in his life overlap quite a bit with my own experiences. At first I didn’t think much of it, but found it rather strange as I always envisioned ADHD just as the physically hyperactive part and never really looked into it. But on multiple occasions, especially after joining Lemmy, there were popping up posts from the ADHDmemes community which were scary relatable. There were also some youtube videos, where creators I follow started to talk about their experiences and the process of getting diagnosed and how everything after that went for them. Considering all of that, I am fairly certain that I fall into this category as it would explain quite a bit about myself and why I do things the way I do.
In my current relationship we hit a brick wall. I am very sensitive to stress and when in a stressful situation I tend to have outbursts of anger. Nothing violent, just verbally condescending. Exhibit A: “So, what do you plan to do about it?” “Do I look like I have a fucking clue what to do?!” or Exhibit B: “So, what now?” “I can’t talk about it now or the next few days.” (might be bad examples, but I can’t come up with anything better)
This, of course, has led to one too many fights and problems not just with my partner, but with parents and family (including all the other things associated with ADHD as I found here https://lemmy.world/post/24554298).
Getting a diagnosis in my country (non-EU) would be hard. There seems to be just one doctor who does it in another city (I don’t think any of it would be even covered with healthcare) and from googling around it seems that medications is rather scarce. After doing one online questionnaire, which someone in a video suggested, I got a pretty low score meaning I don’t have it.
Would going thru the effort and trying to get medication solve my stress related issues? Or would it just make it bearable? The ultimatum was clear - either solve it or gtfo. Talking to her about my suspicions about the causes didn’t seem to yield any results as it is just a suspicion.
Before anyone suggests it, I went to therapy for a few years and it has helped greatly, but with (likely) faulty hardware there is only so much software trickery you can pull off.
TL;DR: I am undiagnosed and therefore unmedicated. Partner set an ultimatum to get my sensitivity to stress under control or we are splitting for good. Has medication helped anyone with this specific issue?
Medication helps me a) to remember stuff for the minute or so that it takes sometimes to get around to it and b) to deal with interruptions better in that I can return to the previous task more easily.
I’m still very susceptible to sensory overload. But I find that clearly communicating how I’m doing with the people around me and excusing myself when I’m overloaded (or tired or whatever) works quite well for me.
Case in point, I was just playing a multiplayer online game with people and realized that I’m just too tired to properly process what’s going on anymore. So I told everyone I’m too tired to keep going, wished them a good night and told them I’d be happy to play with them again tomorrow. Younger me would have pushed on, resulting in drama and loss of self-control.
All that said, you might be suffering from something else entirely, so getting diagnosed is still the best course of action, IMHO.