Maybe you’re one of those families that buys mostly straws. The ones you see with little children huddled and sobbing around their parent who is desperately trying to hold back tears while explaining, “we can only afford 13 bags of straws this week instead of 36 because woke took away our plastic straws. And while duck calls will work just fine with biodegradable straws, they don’t have the same mouth-feel as the ones that choke sea turtles.”
When a turtle chokes on a plastic straw, it will float to the surface, beach itself, and you can strap it to the roof of your car and drive it to your cottage where your family can feast on it for days.
And this helps me pay for groceries, how?
Paying for groceries is woke.
Maybe you’re one of those families that buys mostly straws. The ones you see with little children huddled and sobbing around their parent who is desperately trying to hold back tears while explaining, “we can only afford 13 bags of straws this week instead of 36 because woke took away our plastic straws. And while duck calls will work just fine with biodegradable straws, they don’t have the same mouth-feel as the ones that choke sea turtles.”
This made me cry :(
When a turtle chokes on a plastic straw, it will float to the surface, beach itself, and you can strap it to the roof of your car and drive it to your cottage where your family can feast on it for days.
And with the planet warming, the beach will come right to you!
that’s the neat part