My parents raised me to always say “yes sir” and “no ma’am”, and I automatically say it to service workers and just about anyone with whom I’m not close that I interact with. I noticed recently that I had misgendered a cashier when saying something like “no thank you, ma’am” based on their appearing AFAB, but on a future visit to the store they had added their pronouns (they) to their name tag. I would feel bad if their interaction with me was something they will remember when feeling down. This particular person has a fairly androgynous haircut/look and wears a store uniform, so there’s no gender clue there.

I am thinking I need to just stop saying “sir” and “ma’am” altogether, but I like the politeness and I don’t know how I would replace it in a gender-neutral way. Is there anything better than just dropping it entirely?

For background I’m a millennial and more than happy to use people’s correct pronouns if I know them!

  • Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    6 months ago

    Or they just have different connotations here. Would it be acceptable for a man to go up to a woman he’s never met before and say “I’m in love with you” while she’s just doing her job? If you say yes, I have to wonder who of us was really raised wrong.

    • Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      6 months ago

      On what fucking planet would a sane bloke ever do that?!?

      Oh, wait, you don’t have accessible mental healthcare for most people. As you were 😂

      • Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        6 months ago

        Man unable to comprehend that words can have different meanings in different countries, and is unable to understand analogy, more at 11