My parents raised me to always say “yes sir” and “no ma’am”, and I automatically say it to service workers and just about anyone with whom I’m not close that I interact with. I noticed recently that I had misgendered a cashier when saying something like “no thank you, ma’am” based on their appearing AFAB, but on a future visit to the store they had added their pronouns (they) to their name tag. I would feel bad if their interaction with me was something they will remember when feeling down. This particular person has a fairly androgynous haircut/look and wears a store uniform, so there’s no gender clue there.

I am thinking I need to just stop saying “sir” and “ma’am” altogether, but I like the politeness and I don’t know how I would replace it in a gender-neutral way. Is there anything better than just dropping it entirely?

For background I’m a millennial and more than happy to use people’s correct pronouns if I know them!

  • Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    Come to brasil where people are called champion, master, professor, doctor, or warrior.

    Saying thanks to the cashier? “Thanks, doctor”

    Edit: But Portuguese is gendered so I guess this doesn’t avoid the original problem… except in English it would

    • nephs@lemmygrad.ml
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      6 months ago

      Commander, captain, uncle, brother, comrade, Chief, big friend Bring us down another round