Trying to gauge if I’m going crazy or a little too much “online.”
I currently live in Texas, and moving has been on my mind a lot lately as the Republican party and Texas itself seems to be slowly moving toward fascism. I don’t know when the slide toward fascism will stop, and how much more authoritarian the state will get. I do not feel very good about my tax dollars going to support this state.
I am a middle-aged cishet white man; middle to upper middle class software engineer. I have leftist opinions (libsoc/ansoc), but I’m not an activist (I am very introverted, probably a little bit on the autism spectrum, and pretty much a hermit right now). I do seldom indulge in marijuana consumption, which is illegal here.
I really don’t have much tying me down here. I have no close friends, no family in the state, and no current romantic partners. Last year, I moved within the state for a job, but the company was bought out, and everyone was layed off. I have very high autonomy at my current job, and could probably work fully remote if I wanted. Moving would be expensive (I am in an upside-down mortgage), but I have enough savings to take the hit.
I am personally feeling very isolated here (Texas suburb), at this point in my life, and am thinking about moving into some sort of intentional community (eco-village, cohousing, or land trust; not a commune) in a blue state (or even in Canada if I could pull that off).
Also, the weather in the last 2 years has been absolutely oppressive, and I have a hard time keeping anything alive in my veggie garden :)
Am I being over dramatic? Should I just stick it out here, and try to rebuild my life in a state that doesn’t align with my beliefs?
Also, I’ve heard arguments that libs should stay or even move to red states, but I’m not convinced. The state rules with an iron fist, and pre-empts anything progressive Texas cities try to do. And the district I live in is already pretty solidly blue. Not to mention, red states put families that contain females or lbgt people in danger.
I think you would benefit most by moving abroad. Staying in one country your whole life is very one-dimensional. If you move to another country, esp. overseas, you will look back on your current boredom as wasting your life and you will regret not having done it sooner. Go for just one year. You can always return if you don’t like it. You might be someone who says “I went for 1 year, but stayed 5”.
But first move to a purple swing state like GA or PA for just a month or two, then move your stuff into mini storage. Two reasons: you get to experience a different part of the US, briefly, and you can register to vote in a place where your future votes will count the most. Because that’s the state you will vote in while abroad. OTOH, isn’t Texas on the edge of being a swing state? It’s probably not a bad place to vote from.
Bear in mind - software salaries are MUCH less outside of the US
I would say mostly true.
I moved to a region where my lifestyle (accounting for wages, tax, cost of living) was effectively cut in half. Yet it was still the right move. My initial thinking was I will live anywhere for a year to get a different experience - I can always bounce back if I don’t like it… if the pay reduction bothered me. I ended up staying ~10 years.
A big factor is where you are in life. Fresh out of university, it’s important to gain ground right away and perhaps get the house paid for, or nearly so. But once you’re a senior dev and at a point of calling yourself “privileged class" with a decent sized 401k built up (which is great to convert to a Roth while abroad), you’re only cheating yourself out of life experiences by continuing to chase the money. Some research concluded around ~10 yrs ago that people’s overall happiness improves as income increases up until the $55k/year mark. Beyond that, income doesn’t matter much. Of course that would be a little higher now with inflation but I guess the OP has cleared that figure.
I think it was around 15 years ago I started researching typical incomes around the world and I noticed that Japan paid SWEs double the US average. Cost of living was about 50% higher in Japan but it still worked out that a US→Japan move would have been a lifestyle upgrade. So there are some rare exceptions.
You sound like me. I’m diagnosed autistic (mildly), I’m a software engineer, I’m introverted, I’m definitely liberal leaning, and…I live in Oregon.
For now, I love it here (except Portland proper). So many great restaurants, bars, breweries, wineries, and a crap ton of trails and other parks and sights and sounds.
I live semi-rural and half the businesses here have pride flags and BLM signage. I’m non-white, but don’t feel unsafe walking around where I am at night. My tech contract jobs are remote and I make more than enough to live comfortably.
It rains a lot here… though less so these days it seems. It’s weird how many 100+ degree days we get now, but it’s still a lot less than other people I know.
I’m rambling. If you want to know more, just ask.
off topic to the question above… but how do you reliably find tech contract jobs? i love the stability at my currenty company, but i hate just about everything else. 18 days PTO with little opportunity to travel (i have to be online 9 to 5 which really overshadows being somewhere) and have be interested in trying freelancing, i just have no idea how to find jobs regularly enough to have an income.
Always Be Looking.
Honestly, early on, I wasn’t reliably finding them. But that lasted maybe 6 months?
If I have a 6mo contract for example, I’m still applying for a couple jobs every week. I’m keeping in touch with recruiters that don’t suck at their job and building rapport with them. I’m pinging prior coworkers and just seeing who/what they know is available.
Obviously, soft skills and resume matter too. I have enough buzzy technologies under my belt that it increases the breadth of jobs I can apply for, which helps.
Yeah, it was rough at first, but not like…I was destitute by any means. And now with enough of a network built up I’m relatively confident that even if shit hit the fan, I could find a job inside of 2 weeks.
If you’re in the US (or I guess anywhere?) - just make sure to account for taxes…
ahh gotcha. you can never underestimate networking.
If you have to ask, it might be best if you move. But you’d most likely fall into the same habits and become isolated again. Have you tried joining a club or something?
Gotta go with what works for you. But as a fellow cishet middle-aged white engineer, you could not pay me enough money for me to want to move to Texas. Or Florida. Or most of the middle of the country. If I were in your shoes, I’d be out as soon as I had the means to leave.
