They should have cast speak with animals and made 50 friends

Pinkertons are being sent to your address for leaking the entire contents of the 5e 2024 DMG.

Elon Musk’s ideal DM would be a doll that just says “Brilliant idea Elon, your plan works perfectly” on loop forever.

You don’t. Konsi does.

I believe that is the joke.

I get great anxiety with just small responsibility

If she became a light rather than a trickery cleric

You spelled excellent wrong.

For those who don’t get it

Power Word Kill

You utter a word of power that can compel one creature you can see within range to die instantly. If the creature you choose has 100 hit points or fewer, it dies. Otherwise, the spell has no effect.

Is she using spiritual weapon?

The rope mimic has some more specific tastes.

I DM’d a group that tried to optimize every situation, and every turn off combat. That’s okay as long as it stays fun, but once they start spinning their wheels, or one player turns combat into a slog, then I take measures.

In my experience (and from what I’ve heard of other groups) optimisers are rarely the cause of this problem, usually it’s the more casual or inexperienced players.

How much damage did she take from the poison?

made the poison, then promptly drank it to sacrifice it

That sounds, uh, inadvisable.

like is there a single thing she hasn’t already done and excelled at

Having self-confidence

Talking to Razira without turning into a flustered mess

Saying rude words

is bardlock a mix of bard and warlock?

Yes

why is everything a warlock in dnd?

It multiclasses well, two levels for agonising repelling blast, plus a subclass feature, and then you can pick any charisma caster.

I once unleashed an ancient evil on the world in a failed attempt to open an unlocked door.

If it’s this dangerous there’s sure to be great loot at the end.

Impeccable logic

They’ve got accusations coming out the wazoo