Damn it, now we have Doomsday fish AIDS. I hope you’re happy now oceangoers.

I am still holding out that they dropped the 15 federal indictments so he would be emboldened and hang himself with all the rope they gave him.

I live in Texas, we had a big beautiful St. Augustin yard. Thick, green, very nice. 3 years ago I quit watering it. Last year I seeded it with a mix of Buffalo Grass, Curly Mesquite Grass, and Blue Gamma. It’s almost taken over. It uses zero water, I only mowed it once the year before and twice this year because we got a boatload of rain this year unlike the year before. I stopped mowing the backyard and just removed all the wax and China berry shoots. I have all sorts of native flowers and Chili Pequin plants all over the place. The flowers are great and the birds are everywhere. Best decision I have made since I got this place.

Women are for reproduction use only. Men can fuck couches and dress up like women but their place is out in the world. Doing the tough jobs like I did when I was a US Marine, risking my life to write press releases and enjoy it in the rear, hahaha, that’s what she said. I am not weird, you’re weird. When a woman can no longer produce babies and her womb has dried up she should devote her time to raising the children of her husband’s young new baby machi…I mean grandchildren. In conclusion, Donny said I could say the n-word any time I want if he gets elected and he would also buy me a nice new sexy suede couch and he promised not to deport my brown wife and our Italian-level white children." - James David “My Preferred Name Is JD” Vance

Elon is like that greasy kid in high school who would correct the History teacher with facts he learned by posting on /pol/. “Actually, the slaves loved being slaves because they got free housing and healthcare.”

Can someone please line his shit ass up against the wall already?

I miss it, the little dude will be 26 going on 30 next year.

Edit: I hit send before I finished editing it.

If that little dude is as stoked about Pikachu as my dude was about Ninja Turtles then I feel his frustration. My dude one time spent an entire 5-hour car ride talking about Master Splinter. If I could have left him on the side of the road in New Mexico without his mother killing me, I would have lol.

Your Naked Mother

Definitely an anti-social type. Woof woof woof woof! That’s my other dog imitation.

“There I was just eating breakfast, healthy 2 Big Macs and a diet coke, the best you know people always tell me, they tell me, Mr. President your breakfast choices are the healthiest, I say I don’t know, I don’t know. They use me probably use my breakfast as an example in their universities probably I don’t know. Healthy, that’s me, the healthiest just sitting there when the crooked FBI armed with a Biden death warrant stormed Mar A Lago and planted those documents I sold to Saudi Arabia. I said you can’t do that, they can’t do that, crooked Hillary and her lover Obama they have it out for me because I am so smart I figured out their plans. When I beat Obama in 2016 people said to me, people said Mr President you beat him, Hillary Smillary landslide. I got more votes than President Bartlet. You know that reminds me of when I met with little Kim, she was President of North Korea, some say best Korea, I don’t know, I don’t know. But little Kim told me Diddy is innocent. The crooked Biden crime family won’t tell you that, no, they don’t care about lil Kim so they stole the election from me.”

Be better if a rock dropped on his head.

6 out of 9? Come on Isael those are rookie numbers. You have to target more hospitals and schools, really get in there, and root them out.

Oh, Ted maybe if you weren’t such a cowardly cunt people wouldn’t hate you…

I am really hoping this is the rope this fucking coward uses to hang himself. He is a piece of shit scumbag and he will continue to do piece of shit scumbag shit.

If the terms of the deal are we tar and feather that shit heal fuck faced bag of dicks and then ride him out of Texas on a rail I am good with it. He is a coward and trash.

Smell that Bill? Smells like someone died.

You are not cold, hungry, or sick if you are dead.

Death, the greatest aid of all.

Wait…we are supposed to support our secret families? Shit, I thought you just got married had kids, and then moved to another state and changed your name when it got too hard lol.

Am I reading that correctly? The dog was a stray for 10 years. That pup has seen some shit.