For a simple example: my mother is Catholic and until Trump came along, a lifelong single-issue Republican voter who always said she would be a Democrat if it weren’t for abortion. She attends church in an extremely progressive, famously LGBTQ-friendly town.

There’s a transwoman who attends her church (let’s call her Rita). This lady is probably in her mid-50s to mid-60s and has been a fixture at the church for at least 5 years. My mom has been in choir and bible study groups with her for years now. She still just can’t see Rita as a woman. Treats her politely but behind her back refuses to call her “she” and says she’s a “man in a dress”.

She’s really offended that Rita uses the ladies’ room. I’ve asked her why and she can’t articulate it, she just feels like it’s an invasion of her privacy, because men don’t belong in the ladies’ room. And when I point out that Rita isn’t a man, she just rolls her eyes. I’ve asked her if she’s worried that Rita is in there for predatory purposes and she admits that she doesn’t think Rita intends any harm. I’ve asked her how she’d feel if she were forced to use the men’s room and she says “but that’s different!”

My mom prides herself in being a moral person, and still can’t manage to get past her bigotry to see Rita as a woman. There are just too many mental blockades against it. But since she thinks she’s so highly moral, she thinks she must be correct in this situation. It excuses her from finding empathy and bettering her attitude toward trans folks.

My longwinded point is that when people who consider themselves highly moral are bigoted, there’s almost zero chance of getting through to them. And I think a lot of the people who are bigoted against trans folks feel that morality is on their side and being trans is morally deviant, so they think they’re justified in their prejudice.

Currently leggings and a sweater

Those are pretty great cat thumbs.

Yeah…GrubHub is so fucking expensive that I’m surprised they’re still in business.

I didn’t change my name. My perspective is that my identity doesn’t change just because I got married. My name has been mine since birth and it’ll remain that way.

Just a hint of beans!!

Bitty is a treasure!!

I’m from New Jersey and I pronounce it Wuh-stah-shur. I think that’s reasonably correct?

I’m from New Jersey and have never heard anyone unironically say “youse guys”. Side note we also don’t call it “Joisey”.

She just loves my big ten inch

I think the point is he won both the popular and electoral. In 2016 he lost the popular vote but won the electoral anyway.

And blatant hatred.

Maybe you shouldn’t be seafood if you don’t want to be eaten by cats. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Redbud. It’s got such pretty blossoms and the leaves are a really pleasing shape.

Plus birch beer is awesome

Sometimes it’s meant like “I’m about to ask what might sound like a dumb question, but I’m genuinely asking, so please take me seriously.”

Sometimes it’s meant like “I’m about to ask what might sound like a dumb question, but I’m genuinely asking, so please take me seriously.”

My brother-in-law says the dishes “need washed” and it’s nails on a goddamn chalkboard every time I hear it.

But why use such an awkward construction? Why not “please handle this” or “please take care of this”? Or even “please take the necessary steps to address this”? “Please do the needful” is saying Please [VERB] the [ADJECTIVE]. But the correct construction is to verb a noun. So you need a noun (e.g., “this”) to act on.

And additionally, “needful” is an adjective, and rarely ever used anyway. For example, you could probably describe a homeless person as “needful”, but it sounds awkward, and most people would say “needy” or “in need.”

Die Antwoord