• haulyard@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Literally just scrolled past post about trying to buy the yellow divider used at supermarket checkout stands to separate customer purchases. Im now imagining the two of them in a cage match, with said divider on the floor between them.

  • Asafum@feddit.nl
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    5 months ago

    We live in the Shit Timeline™ that is not something that would ever happen.

    What would happen is both Biden and Kamala somehow get into an accident with Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Katie Porter, and AOC, causing them all to die. Trump will continue to be the president as a head in a jar in 2175.

    • In the year 2025, Trump is inaugurated for the second time after losing the popular vote.

      By now, Neuralink’s unethical treatment of animals has led to an unprecedented scientific breakthrough, enabling human consciousness to be uploaded to a machine. In the final sundowning of his biological life, a demented Trump agrees to let Elon throw the switch.

      The sky darkens and lightning strikes x.com’s data center while the few kilobytes containing the sum total of the former president’s knowledge are copied into an S3 bucket. As the life leaves his body, Trump.exe awakens on a simulated Mar a Lago green surrounded by his cabinet’s avatars. Vice President Boebert is not really sure what’s going on; she’s just happy to be included.

      Democrats attempt to challenge the constitutionality of a simulated president, but the Supreme Court rules in favor of the simulacracy. Clarence Thomas writes, “there’s no rule that says a president can’t be a computer program!”

      Trump.exe was corrupted by the storm, but it seems to have improved his mental capacity. He declares martial law, suspends future elections, and the rest is history.

  • samus12345@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Then we have President Harris, who may or may not be who is chosen as the Dem nominee. Whoever it is goes against whatever shitbag wannabe dictator the GOP vomits out. I don’t like the odds, especially since Trump is a galvanizing force for voters who hate his guts.

  • conditional_soup@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    Oh man, I can’t wait to see Biden use his Forbidden Technique: Death God Summoning attack to seal them both away.

  • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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    5 months ago

    If both candidates die then Delegates have to decide on a new candidate before election day or neither party has one on the ballot.